I have felt like that for as long as I can remember. A powerful urge to leave through the roof, to crawl out of life.

From the book of my shadow

At first it was terrifying drawing my thoughts, feelings and dreams. But it got easier and easier and now if I feel 'full feeling or tension allowing myself a random drawing unravels it. 

From the book of my shadow

Drawing is a 'physical' expression of self

If you want to release a feeling as Abba Poeman said, so it doesn't fester....you have do something physical with it. Drawing is a great way to do this. The trick is to commit it and keep doing it. The inner critic will pipe up with how embarassingly bad it is, write and draw that too. If you keep going long enough it ceases to be so crippling.

If you get the courage to do it...

CELEBRATE! And send me a copy, I'd love to see. 

I made a scrapbook in a class because I wanted to help my daughter prepare for GCSE art, I found the fact the pages were already painted and marked really helped feel less inhibiting. I started drawing and writing random things whenever I could: thoughts, dreams, feelings anything that came. I tried not to think to much about what I was doing. Eventually it stopped being so scary and I began to find it deeply satisfying. I made a black felt cover and called it 'the book of my shadow'. It was as if everything I am/was scared of had been captured in the soft folds of the book. 

The Voices 

From the book of my shadow

I could hear people in my life who would say these things...'how indulgent', 'what a waste of time' but after a few weeks they packed up and left

From the book of my shadow

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